Saturday, June 22, 2024
HomeCricketAustralia 7-0 England: Morgan scores a century but Cook's tourists STILL can't...

Australia 7-0 England: Morgan scores a century but Cook’s tourists STILL can’t win as Aussies sniff 13-0 tour annihilation – England are absolutely… USELESS!

Australia 7-0 England: Morgan scores a century but Cook’s tourists STILL can’t win as Aussies sniff 13-0 tour annihilation – England are absolutely… USELESS!

By The Useless Column for the Daily Mail

Published: 14:03 BST, 17 January 2014 | Updated: 23:35 BST, 17 January 2014

e-mail

60

View comments

Your striker fluffs a sitter, your defender shanks a clearance, your winger misses a try or your hot tip falls at the first fence… All together now: ‘USELESS!’ Our man delivers the verdict with real feeling. Today’s it’s the England cricket team’s turn – AGAIN – to be handed the dubious honour… 

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Brisbane, Adelaide, Perth, Melbourne, Sydney and back to Melboune and Brisbane again – that’s the sequence of cities to have witnessed the annihilation of England’s wretched, pathetic and utterly useless cricketers this dark winter.

How low can you go? Tim Bresnan of England falls to the turf as England crash to ANOTHER defeat on their embarrassing tour of Australia - this time losing the second ODI by one wicket in Brisbane How low can you go? Tim Bresnan of England falls to the turf as England crash to ANOTHER defeat on their embarrassing tour of Australia - this time losing the second ODI by one wicket in Brisbane

How low can you go? Tim Bresnan of England falls to the turf as England crash to ANOTHER defeat on their embarrassing tour of Australia – this time losing the second ODI by one wicket in Brisbane

Even when the hoodoo looked like it was going to broken in today’s one-day match in Brisbane following Eoin Morgan’s blistering century and Chris Jordan’s superb catch, Alastair Cook’s tourists managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

The Aussies were teetering at 244 for nine and STILL England failed to claim victory as Ben Stokes and Tim Bresnan served up some cafeteria bowling at the death.

James Faulkner – oh, and he came in at No 9 let’s not forget – helped himself to an unbeaten 69 to hand Australia a 7-0 lead in international matches played against the auld enemy on this tour.

Tunnel of love: James Faulkner of Australia is cheered off by his team-mates after his match-winning innings over England at The Gabba Tunnel of love: James Faulkner of Australia is cheered off by his team-mates after his match-winning innings over England at The Gabba

Tunnel of love: James Faulkner of Australia is cheered off by his team-mates after his match-winning innings over England at The Gabba

Darren Lehmann of Australia laughs after winning  the second game of the One Day International Series between Australia and England at The Gabba Darren Lehmann of Australia laughs after winning  the second game of the One Day International Series between Australia and England at The Gabba David Warner of Australia laughs after winning the second game of the One Day International Series between Australia and England at The Gabba David Warner of Australia laughs after winning the second game of the One Day International Series between Australia and England at The Gabba

Laughing stock: Australia coach Darren Lehmann (left) and tormentor in chief David Warner (right) can’t hide their glee after Australia established a 2-0 one-day series lead

With three one-day internationals and three Twenty20 internationals still to come, there’s a very real the final score could be 13-0.

That scoreline really would be death of English cricket. 

NOW CLICK ON THE VIDEO BELOW TO HEAR OUR MAN’S VERDICT…

RELATED ARTICLES

Previous 1 Next UNBELIEVABLE! England crumble yet again to gift Australia… You will not see a better caught-and-bowled than that! Broad… Finn determined to forget nightmare tour and get back to the… Broad smiles as England bowler soaks up the rays after being…

Share this article

Share

RELATED ARTICLES
- Advertisment -

Most Popular